cuddlr;

[burnination]

Max Kiesler (26) Magic, dog owner, ancient artifact liberator, occasional demonic taxi cab, plus fireproof. Also, firefighter. Boys, girls, whatever. I'm easy. Good puns accepted as pick up lines.

✓       ✕

YES
<span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span>


NO
<span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

Comments

[stilinski]

✓

why the hell are you fireproof??
and how did you find that out the first time????

[burnination]

✓

hey you.
i'm fireproof because i'm hellspawn
i figured it out when i was like 9 and went dancing in fire while possessed
freaked the neighbors out

[stilinski]

hellspawn
I should've guessed something like that
we've got a fireproof guy back home too

uh
wow I wonder why

[burnination]

cool. my bro Marco is too.
is your dude back home aligned with demonic plane magic?

they were pricks anyway

[ and he went back 10 years later and set the village on fire :D ]

[stilinski]

uh
we think he's a hellhound

dude, most neighbors are
I think it's a requirement for each block to have one shitty family or weird old bachelor

[burnination]

marco has one of those
she looks like a shibe
and she explodes when she sneezes
kind of gross tbh

probably. i went to magic school in alaska after, though, so problem solved. magic dorm life is great

[stilinski]

that's disgusting
I really hope she doesn't sneeze often
that must have been one hell of a surprise the first time

and you're telling me you're not from Hogwarts?
or whatever unnamed school there is in Alaska?

[burnination]

yes
but also kind of hilarious
tristan screamed

less secret tunnels and house points bullshit, more illicit juvenile sexual experimentation and dead people
the school i'm from in alaska is the barrett-crowley reformatory. it's in the mountains. everything is frozen. it fucking sucks.

[stilinski]

do I even want to know what happens after she explodes?
coming back from that can't be pretty

illicit sexual experimentation?
when mixed with magic and dead people that sounds really fucked up
but also scarily similar to my school experience

[burnination]

it's ok, she's basically made of hellfire so she kind of just
sucks herself back together
and then there's a shiba again

can't speak for the necromancers, you have to go to jude for that
and who even knows what the JBC kids were up to
but the dead people weren't involved in the sex at bcr
after they were dead, at least
did you go to nc-17 hogwarts, stiles?

[stilinski]

shibe-shaped hellfire
guess it's less on the nose than a pitbull

Jude? you know a necromancer named Jude?
the hell is JBC?
I'm not following you dude

no, but that would be awesome
I wasn't one of the ones having lots of sex

[burnination]

marco's weirdly partial to them idk
there's actually usually 3, but only one came with him here

you've been lied to. did jude tell you his name is elliot?
how terrible
JBC is the Johannesburg Collective - magic school in south africa
private magic school with idk individual teachers or some shit
they're weird

why not?

[stilinski]

what the fuck
you know Elliot??
he hasn't mentioned Alaska
or you

takes two to tango

[burnination]

that's because he's an asshole

i live with him
back home, i employed him
he's never been to alaska, he'd whine and freeze and whine more
his bird is great tho

so find someone you like and tango

[stilinski]

he's not that bad
doesn't seem the type to like cold weather

people I like don't usually like me back

[burnination]

no, he's a frail, subtropical thing
but cute, at least
just watch your wallet around him

you should stop liking stupid people
how many people have you liked unsuccessfully?
and did they know you and not like you or was it a high school mean girls clique thing
idk i dont know what normal high school are like

[stilinski]

he told me he's a pickpocket
tried to get my wallet but said I kept too close an eye on him

uh like five
all of them knew
I don't think I was subtle
but girls are confusing

[burnination]

what, seriously? i always watch him
i started putting my cash in my underwear, with a belt on, and he still got it
this is bullshit

then yeah, stop liking stupid people
i need you to look up nicola santos here
she's your age, she's hot as fuck, she's excellent in general
and she'll adore you pretty sure
she also lives here with me and elliot

[stilinski]

bet you just wanted an excuse for someone's hand in your pants
don't hate the player!

you're setting me up with a different roommate?
she a witch, too?

[burnination]

p sure i can just ask him for that [ sry stiles, he hasn't realized you have a thing for ellie yet 8( ]
but even so, i didn't even notice it happening to enjoy it
how the fuck do you do that without being noticed???

i can probably set you up with all my roommates tbh
there's 6
yeah she's a witch

[stilinski]

tmi

[And that's all he's saying about that B( ]

all of them?
sounds like a good time
I'm guessing the rest are witches, too

[burnination]

you started it

they like to share
yeah, all witches. most of us went to the same school, minus elliot
and nic lived in the town near bcr, didn't actually go to it

[stilinski]

oh that's
actually cool in a place like this
makes sense

also makes sense you'd all end up here
seems like the people who run the city focus on groups of people

[burnination]

makes sense they'd bring in people we like if they want us to get cuddling

we keep getting more of us showing up too
glad we went for big house the first month tbh

[stilinski]

good point
though some people don't want to cuddle their friends
who knows