GENERAL OPEN POST/IC INBOX/WHATEVER IDK

[burnination]

"Busy. Send a text."

[ that's right. it's been a decade and he still hasn't changed his voicemail message. ]

Comments

o3o

[burnination]

doors are the worst. do you push, do you pull? revolving ones are terrible when blazed

on my way, dont hurt yourself

ilu

[despising]

Do you think aliens probe people because they get all their information about humans from the internet which is almost exclusively porn?

ilu2

[burnination]

yes 100%

all that tentacle porn

maybe they think its the proper earthling greeting

c:

[despising]

Or aliens are huge perverts into some interesting kinks.

Wait. What about tentacle porn? What porn are you watching.

[burnination]

so the same as like 70% of normal ppl, ok seems legit

im a demonic what fucking porn do u think im watching + y r u surprised?7

[despising]

I like to think it's the former though.

You can't keep using that excuse I don't watch weird corpsefucking or whatever it is you would think necromantics get down to. But I'm not judging your tentacle porn.

Do you think aliens have space dagga?

[burnination]

yea u dont turn into a corpse tho on the reg + if u did ud probly b 2 dead 2 get it up

ofc they do. every civilization has 2 have some kind of drug 2 get blazed with

[despising]

Wait are you telling me you get tentacles?

I wonder if space drugs are better than earth drugs.

[burnination]

depending on the demon, sometimes

idk lets kidnap an alien and find out

[despising]

[ He's now placing max somewhere closer to demonic octopus than demon goat in his mind. ]

Cool. I know you get horn sometimes. Like the time you tried to kill me.

Okay. But what if they vomit acid or sommat? Those movies gave me nightmares.

[burnination]

usually more horns than it is tentacles. those don’t happen often.

ill be meat shield, I can handle alien acid if I’m vesseling

[despising]

Huh. The horns are cool too I guess. I can't say I've seen you vessel all that much considering.

No way, I don't want you getting hurt.

Especially not because of me.

[burnination]

more useful than tentacles tbh. unless ur making a porn.

aww u care abt me and shit

for real tho it’ll tickle at worst

[despising]

Making a porn sounds more fun. How are horns useful?

Shut up you tit. I never said that.

Still no. You're not acting as a meat shield.

[burnination]

gouging. or holding on to.

lol that’s sweet jude but it’s basically what i do. have been since bcr

[despising]

Holding on to? Are you back to thinking about sex?

Good for you but you're not doing it for me. I think you've suffered enough protecting me, ay?

Or do you just want me to pamper you after you get hurt?

[burnination]

yes

lol aight if u say so [ yeah, if it comes to it, he's definitely doing it again, so bite him, booboo <3 ]

uh yes that too tbh. all of the above.

[despising]

Have you shagged someone whilst vesseling before?

I do say so. [ He will bite, with his sharp lil soul nibblers. ]

You are the worst, you haven't got to be stupid and heroic if you want me to pamper you. [ Which is actually news to Elliot. But maybe he's a little scarred from the lengths Max went in the past to save and protect him. He's high - he'll deny it later if he's called out on it. ]

TFLNSSS

[burnination]

1. ] my life is in shambles. just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun

2. ] my penis made a compromise with my morals

3. ] since hes sober and out of jail he acts like we are the worst people on earth. fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. he wont take that from us.

4. ] we dont need a hotel, well just sleep in the post office.

5. ] you think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?