burnination | GENERAL OPEN POST/IC INBOX/WHATEVER IDK

"Busy. Send a text."

[ that's right. it's been a decade and he still hasn't changed his voicemail message. ]

stop putting your ass in my yoga viewing space. i was here first.

i shouldn't have to move my ass just because you can't keep your eyes to yourself

i'm trying to stare at tristan's crotch in sweatpants. you put your ass in the way. this is the price you pay.

if you want to see that then you can move somewhere else. i like my spot

i was here first. i have tenure in my spot. its tradition. get off my lawn hoodlum

it's out with the old and in with the new

this means war, usurper. your ass will never be safe.

leave my ass alone

you brought your ass into this war, it is no longer innocent

it's not even a war, it's me telling you to stop being a perv

i offered you a peace treaty if you moved, you refused. you're interrupting my love affair with tristan's pelvis.