burnination | [ DUPLICITY ] ic inbox;

nah magic lsd is completely different
like astral projection thru dimensions
but bad trip means u might end up projected into hell
v unchill
not advised

asshat

astral projection
god ur worse than those girls i knew in school
u gonna do my horoscope next?

nah im balls at divination
u gotta ask triscuit for that
call me if u get demon possession problems tho

what the fuck are u talking about

[ hurgh he hates having to explain himself. mostly because he doesn't tend to think much before saying something, thus context tends to get lost, then he has to go back and try to remember wtf he was saying and why again. his brain's a weird place, shh. ]

horoscope = divination
divination = shit im bad at
divination = shit triscuit is good at
triscuit = tristan clark
for horoscope, see tristan clark

shit i can help with = demons
and pancakes ig

[ this is also usually the part where people go "lol ok crazy w/e u say" and fuck off, which works great for him, because then he never gets in trouble for breaking the 'don't tell the normal people about magic' rule. ]

( If Max had been hitting him up in October the Eggsy would have absolutely shrugged him off as a lunatic, but ... times have changed. He's seen things. Sabrina the Teenage Witch here is hardly the weirdest shit that's gone down lately - if he's telling the truth. )

right n what about that condescending fucking attitude
what's that all about

u wanted an explanation
i explained
sry?

[ legit wasn't trying to be condescending, it was genuinely him breaking down the thought process that led to what he typed, woops. but it's not the first time that's come out like that either.

there's a reason he only socializes with like 3 people. ]

( Don't mind Eggsy, he's a delicate flower right now and he's been in a shit mood for at least a fortnight. Pls ignore. )

right well this has been fun
probably shouldn't carry on talking to strangers though
first rule of not getting murdered n all that

literally evry1s a stranger til u talk to them
but yea ok enjoy ur scotch
seems like u need it

[ ok that one might've been condescending ]

more than i need fucking pancakes

:(
hurtful

( ✔ Read: 21:20 )

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]

[ after a couple hours, a heavy amount of creeping (because this is the weird shit max does when he's bored), and a lot of baking, some submissive delivery boy runs a care package up to eggsy's apartment in the dominant hotel.

it includes:
1. whiskey pancakes baked in the style of scotch pancakes, because putting actual scotch (instead of maple flavored crown royal) in pancakes seems disgusting.
2. a sticky note that reads "cheer up, buttercup :)"

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. :D ]

( Just give Eggsy a few minutes because he doesn't know whether to be creeped out, scared, touched or pleased. )

are u serious
did u make me whisky pancakes