burnination | GENERAL OPEN POST/IC INBOX/WHATEVER IDK

"Busy. Send a text."

[ that's right. it's been a decade and he still hasn't changed his voicemail message. ]

what do u need

i was gonna say a swiss miss but that's a terrible joke even for me.

i've got an unholy problem. tl;dr satan won't fucking shut up and i haven't slept in two weeks.

wait, why isn't switzerland in germany? wasn't hitler's hq in switzerland???

what the fuck

whatever, do you wanna maybe proxy for me for a bit?

that sounds like a request for crossdressing

the answer is no btw

do you mean austria?

austria was once owned by germany but is still not germany. pls return to grade school.

are you wanting me to vessel satan for you?

[ pause ]

yeah ok

satan won't come inside you, you don't have my fine ass

problem with living with demon possessions: all the terrible jokes sound funny by osmosis

and anyway europe is tiny compared to the usa

i'm sending you balaal. not belial, that dude's someone else.

he likes baby blood, just fyi.

coming inside me is a privilege earned by few, satan is not on that list

just don't make satan fucking me jokes around dani, he'll cry

and the us is stupid compared to europe, so it evens out

cute. im sure we'll get along, i drink a lot of cherry koolaid.

i wouldn't do that to dani, i'm not that terrible

where the hell are you i'm feeling frisky

good man

burnination - 2015-12-01 13:41 (UTC) - Expand

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